


Hole and Corner

by decadentbynature



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Blow Jobs, Dry Orgasm, Hurt/Comfort, Kissing, M/M, Multiple Orgasms, Non-Consensual Blow Jobs, Pining Keith (Voltron), Rape, Rape/Non-con Elements, Rimming, Rough Kissing, Spit As Lube
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-26
Updated: 2019-01-27
Packaged: 2019-10-16 10:46:19
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,902
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17548211
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/decadentbynature/pseuds/decadentbynature
Summary: When some kind of infestation gets into the Castle of Lions, Keith finds himself separated from the others. Locked in the hangar, desperately trying to get the Red Lion back online, he's caught off guard when Shiro suddenly appears.Pulled down to the floor, Shiro's weight resting on top of him, Keith gets one look at his dazed, flushed face, and knows something is wrong. Something is affecting him, and whatever it is, it's causing Shiro to act out a well hidden desire.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Check out more on my tumblr, [decadentbynature](http://decadentbynature.tumblr.com)  
> You can also follow me on twitter @ [naturallydeca](http://twitter.com/naturallydeca)

It was a mistake, leaving the cockpit of the Red Lion open while he frantically went through diagnostics, trying to figure out why it wouldn’t start, why it wouldn’t respond to him, no matter what he did. Something had infested the Castle of Lions and had taken control of everything. The hangar doors refused to open. Communication was down. Last he heard of his teammates, Allura, Coran, and Lance were trapped in the main control room, while Hunk and Pidge were trapped in their bedrooms, and Shiro had been heading towards where the source of infestation might have begun, going off the readings Pidge had managed to grab before radio silence. That was close to 20 minutes ago. He hadn’t heard anything from them since, and there didn’t seem to be any change in the situation. 

It was a mistake, one he hadn’t paid attention to because all of his focus was on just getting the Red Lion going so he could plow right through the hangar doors. He’d been so intently zeroed in on that one thing that he hadn’t noticed the figure stumbling into the cockpit behind him. It only became apparent when a large, cold, metallic hand grabbed him by the shoulder, easily pulled him out of his seat and slammed him down onto the floor, knocking all the air out of his lungs. As he was still getting his bearings, someone heavy straddled his stomach. His automatic response, even as he was struggling to suck air into his seizing lungs was to go for his knife, to put up some kind of resistance. All that went out the window, however, when he saw who’d grabbed him. 

“Shiro?” He breathed, “What’s-“

“I found you, baby.” Shiro panted, and Keith realized that he looked…weird. His face was flushed a dark red. Fat droplets of sweat stood out prominently on his smooth forehead. The dark eyes gazing down at him were hazy and unfocused. He was breathing heavily, his broad shoulders visibly raising and falling with the voice of each inhale and exhale. Even though there was some distance between them, Keith could feel the heat rolling off him. When he gently placed a hand on Shiro’s shoulder, a little disturbed by the immense shudder that simple touch caused, an intense burning met his skin. 

More to the point, though…what had Shiro just called him? ‘Baby’? No, no, he must’ve misheard, Shiro would never call him something like that. Swallowing down against the unease building up in his chest, reassuring himself that this was Shiro, he wouldn’t do anything to him, Keith went to say something, probably another inquiry as to what was going on with him, but the words were gobbled up when Shiro abruptly leaned down to smash their lips together in a hungry, near desperate kiss. When Keith instinctively cried out, he took advantage of his parted lips and shoved his tongue deep inside, swiping it across his own, the sides of his mouth and the roof, spreading a strange, although not completely unpleasant taste. 

Squeaking in alarm, Keith tried to jerk back, his eyes near bulging out of their sockets, blinking repeatedly as Shiro’s blurred face filled up his vision, only to have the back of his head bang against the floor. The rate of his heartbeat immediately went from being sort of accelerated to going so fast that he could barely distinguish the individual beats anymore. Slamming his hands against Shiro’s shoulders, he tried to push him away, exerting every ounce of strength that he had but it proved useless. Shiro was a mountain on top of him, pressing his much larger form against him to keep him pinned to the floor. That sickening heat sunk into his skin, making him feel a little dizzy. Aggravating that vertigo even further was Shiro’s lips and tongue assaulting his mouth. 

Finally getting a chance to pull away, Keith coughed out, “Shiro, stop-! What-!”

A powerful hand clamped down tightly on his jaw, wrenching his head back into place and Shiro took possession of his mouth once more. Keith’s head was spinning. Panic was quickly beginning to build up in his chest. What was this?! Why was Shiro kissing him?! Was…was this the fault of the infestation that Allura made reference to earlier?! If so, then what the fuck kind of infestation was this?! What was it doing to Shiro?! That train of thoughts finally brought him back to his senses. Whatever this was, he couldn’t just lie here while it was controlling Shiro! Bucking hard underneath him, Keith tried to throw him off but similarly to pushing him off, it had no effect. He couldn’t move him an inch. 

“You taste so good, baby.” Shiro moaned, nipping gently at his bottom lip, “So sweet.” 

“Shiro, stop!” Keith groaned sharply, “Something’s wrong with you! You need to-“

Leaning back, a small smile tugging at the corners of his lips, his dark eyes burning with want, to his horror, Shiro reached down to slowly undo the front of his pants, his gaze never moving away from Keith’s face. It was at that moment that Keith noticed something that he’d failed to before: there was something very hot and very hard between Shiro’s legs that was pressing insistently against his stomach. Didn’t take a fucking genius to figure out what it was. A screech of alarm and panic roared through his head, leaving him feeling momentarily so sick that he thought he might puke. Holding one shaking hand out to Shiro, his mind stuttering, unable to register what this was obviously going, Keith tried, once again, to call out to him, to bring him to his senses. 

Too little, too late. With a rasp grunt, Shiro, apparently having reached the end of his patience, ripped his pants open, shoving one large hand inside to pull out his cock. Keith experienced a weird flash of both heat and cold at the sight of it. Entirely against his will, his own cock immediately responded, twitching to life as blood roared down from his head to his crotch. Shiro’s cock…he was actually looking at Shiro’s cock. How…how many times had he imagined this exact same scenario? Standing in the shower, the water beating down onto his shoulders, knowing that no one would interrupt him, no one would barge in on him as he jerked himself off, softly whispering Shiro’s name as he envisioned all sorts of scenarios that later had him burning with guilt. 

Only this wasn’t a fantasy. He wasn’t alone in his room, his desires kept safe from the prying eyes of the others. He was on the floor of the cockpit, the cold metal biting into his skin, staring up into the dazed face of his closest, dearest friend, someone he loved, someone he cherished, someone he…wanted, he’d wanted for so long that it had begun a sharp barb in his heart, stinging him whenever his attention slipped, and he let himself linger on that longing, only to be jabbed, the pain reminding him that Shiro wasn’t his and would never be his, that the way they looked at one another was so astronomically different that even hoping for something was stupid. 

Yet, here he was. Shiro on top of him, that burning, wanting…lusting stare boring into him. His large, rock hard, dripping cock held in the loose ring of his fingers. The smile on his face grew when Keith stared shamelessly at it, his cheeks heating up. In the back of his mind, alarm screamed at the top of its nonexistent lungs. Run, it screamed, run! Get away! He doesn’t know what he’s doing! You need to go! When Shiro placed the other hand near the side of his head, Keith finally jerked back to his senses with a grating grunt. Sucking in a sharp breath, he tried to use that movement to unbalance him, slamming one hand against the curve of his elbow but Shiro didn’t even flinch. His expression didn’t twitch or shake. He couldn’t smiling, sliding closer, his warmth moving up from Keith’s stomach to his chest. 

“Shiro, stop!” Keith yelped, slamming his hands against his chest. The panic was all encompassing now. Every muscle in his body was tense, as though someone had grabbed a string that connected all his muscles and pulled it taut. A weird cold poured down into his stomach, though, much to his shame, it did nothing at all about the heat brewing in the base of his belly, where his cock was already standing to full attention, straining against the constraints of his pants. Mouth twisting into a pained grimace, Keith looked around frantically for something he could use to get Shiro off him. He didn’t want to resort to violence (he didn’t even know if it would work – if he punched Shiro in the face, would he keep going, unfazed?) but he would if that’s what it came to. 

“You’re so cute, baby.” Shiro breathed. 

“Wake up!” Keith howled desperately, his panicked gaze flickering down to the cock that was now inches away from his face. “Shiro, please, don’t do this! You-!”

In hindsight, it probably wasn’t the best idea to keep talking when Shiro was that close. Seeming to not hear him at all, lost in his own world, Shiro once again took advantage of his parted lips but for an entirely different reason this time. Moving in that last little bit, he slipped a hand underneath Keith’s head, pulling his head up just as he was pushing forward. With a soft moan, he slipped his rock hard cock between Keith’s lips, quickly sliding in until his nose was buried in a thick mass of black pubic hair. Smooth skin slid over his tongue, spreading a distractingly wonderful salty taste. The head of Shiro’s cock bumped against the back of his throat. Keith gagged, tears springing up to his eyes. Weakly setting his hands on Shiro’s muscular thighs, he curled his fingers into the thick material. 

It hurt. Shiro’s cock was so big that it was stretching his jaw far wider than it was ever meant to go. A intense ache settled into his head, pulsing most viciously in his forehead and the hinges of his jaw. Making it worse was the fact that he couldn’t fucking breathe. His skin felt overheated and two times too small for his body. Saliva dribbled out of the minuscule space between his lips and Shiro’s cock. Overhead, Shiro moaned loudly, his large body trembling. Pushing his broad fingers through Keith’s hair, panting heavily, he began to move, slowly thrusting his cock deep into Keith’s mouth. Whimpering low in his throat, he clenched his eyes tightly shut. It hurt, it hurt! He couldn’t breathe! Every time the head of Shiro’s cock banged against the back of his throat, he got closer and closer to vomiting. This…this was misery. 

It was Shiro, his Shiro, the man he loved, and every moment that dragged on into eternity, lengthening the time he was being subjugated to the agony of being assaulted like this was utter torture. Tears streamed down his burning cheeks. His feet scraped against the metal floor, pushing and twitching as though he might push himself away from this torment. Shiro seemed utterly oblivious to his suffering – the pace of his breathing was picking up, as was the speed of his thrust. Each one became rougher, harder, jamming his twitching cock deeper into Keith’s move until it felt as though he might go down his throat. Wailing, the sounds muffled by Shiro’s cock, Keith weakly slammed his clenched fists against Shiro’s chest. It hurt, it hurt, it hurt! He wanted it to stop! He didn’t want to be treated like this by Shiro! Even if this was some strange parasite or infection, he…he couldn’t stand it! 

“Keith! Baby, gonna-!” Shiro panted, rapidly thrusting into his mouth, “Baby, so good! So good! I love-!” 

Whatever else he was going to say was lost to a strangled moan. Throwing his head back, he thrust his hips forward, completely burying his length into Keith’s mouth. His cock swelled up even further then scalding hot cum was pouring down his throat. It caught him off guard. Choking, his throat constricting at the sudden influx of fluid, Keith gasped for breath. For a couple moments, he was almost halfway sure he was going to die, and the thought of dying by choking on semen was so bizarre and strange that he nearly flew into a fit of hysterical laughter. Him, after all he’d been through, after everything that had happen, dying because he couldn’t swallow quickly enough. Only thing that kept him from that deranged laughter was the instinctual need not to die. Quickly regaining what little composure he could grab hold of, while the rest of his brain was too busy being not help at all, Keith mournfully swallowed down mouthful after mouthful of cum that Shiro sent pouring down his throat. 

Just as it seemed like the tidal wave was over, Shiro pulled back, slipping his sopping wet cock out of his mouth. Dragging in a ragged gasp of air, Keith coughed hard, his entire body shaking from the force. Dazed, his head still raging with pain, his throat and lungs burning, he tried to roll over, tried to crawl away but Shiro wasn’t finished with him yet. Still keeping him flat on his back, he grabbed hold of his jaw once more, tilting his head back so he could smoosh another kiss to his lips. Moaning softly, he rasped, “Sorry for being so rough. I’ll make it up to-“

“Get off.” Keith sobbed, “Please, Shiro, get off me.” 

Unsurprisingly, Shiro didn’t move. Pressing his lips to the corner of Keith’s mouth, he whispered, “What do you want, baby? I’ll do anything for you.”

“Get off!” Keith pushed the words out through his clenched teeth. 

Shiro’s other hand reached behind him. An embarrassingly loud squeak ripped its way out of Keith’s lung when that hand gently but firmly began to caress his somehow still rock hard cock (in fact, he was mortified to realize, he was even harder now than he’d been before Shiro had raped his mouth) through his pants. Frantically squirming underneath his weight, Keith went to cry out again, only to lose whatever he was going to say. In a smooth, graceful movement, Shiro slipped off him, plopping down onto the floor. Before he could register the loss of his weight, he was flipped over onto his stomach then yanked up into Shiro’s lap, his back banging against his muscular chest. Struggling, seeing this as his one and only opportunity to escape, Keith quickly found himself imprisoned in the impossibly strong embrace of Shiro’s mechanical arm. 

“Shiro, stop!” He cried, kicking his legs out, trying to get some semblance of leverage. 

“Be honest with me, Keith.” Shiro whispered huskily into his ear, making him shudder, “What do you want? What do you want me to do?” 

“I want you to get off me!” Keith snarled without any heat, a fresh cascade of tears spilling down his cheeks. 

“I know what I want.” Shiro’s other hand, the real one, the one still cupping his crotch pushed in deep, further until it was touching the curve of his ass, “This, I want this, Keith.”

“No.” Keith said numbly, slowly shaking his head. No…no, no, anything but that. He could handle Shiro violating his mouth but his ass…he…no, no, no! 

A hot tongue licked up the line of his neck. Warm breath puffed against his skin. The heat radiating off Shiro threatened to cook him alive. Fruitlessly struggling, Keith cried out in terrified alarm when the hand on his ass slipped away, going around the other way, pushing between him and Shiro, dipping back down and grabbing the seat of his pants. With almost frightened strength, Shiro ripped the fabric of both his trousers and underwear away, leaving his ass completely exposed. Now in full blown panic mode, Keith picked up the fight once more, wildly thrashing in Shiro’s hold. It was no use. He couldn’t budge an inch. Any blow he managed to level against Shiro went entirely ignored. He was in too awkward of a position, he couldn’t get any leverage! 

A sickening shudder shook his entire body when Shiro’s hand slipped in even lower, sliding between his cheeks to brush teasingly against his entrance. Eyes going wide, a sob rippling up his throat, Keith twisted around to look up at Shiro and begged, “Please, please, don’t! Shiro-!” 

“I’ve wanted this for so long, baby.” Shiro whispered, pressing a kiss to his cheek. 

“Shiro-!” 

Abruptly shoved back down to the floor, his cheek banging against the cold metal, Keith’s hips were yanked up. Before he could fully register what was going on, one arm was tightly wound around his back, the other was spreading his cheeks apart. Breath slammed against the sensitive skin then something wet and hot swiped over his hole, making him shriek. Shiro…Shiro was licking his ass! Teeth clenched together in a horrified grimace, his feet weakly kicking in mid air, Keith reached back in an attempt to stop him, only to be unable to do much in the weird position he was in. Moaning loudly, the sound muffled, Shiro hungrily caresses his ass with his tongue, sometimes prodding gently but mostly just spreading a layer of saliva over his skin. Grunting, thoroughly disturbed by how good it felt, Keith curled his hands into loose fists. 

It was quickly becoming obvious that there was no getting out of this. No matter how hard he struggled, he couldn’t do anything to deter Shiro. All…all he could hope for that once he finished, once he was satisfied, he might come back to his sense and…after that, he didn’t know. What…what was this going to do to their relationship? The thought made Keith freeze. If Shiro remembered all this, what was going to happen to them? The way he was acting right now made it seem as though that he might feel the same way Keith felt about him but no matter how this situation was turned around, it was rape. Shiro was…raping him. He’d said no so many times, but even if he said yes, Shiro was in no condition to give consent! If he remembered when all this was said and done, what were they going to do? 

Keith sobbed quietly. He…he didn’t want to lose Shiro! He didn’t want something like this to tear him apart! 

A strangled cry was forced out of Keith’s lungs when, without warning, Shiro pressed the pad of one of his fingers against his hole, and pushed it inside. There was a slight sting of pain but the heavy coating of saliva helped it slip in easier than it might’ve if he’d been completely dry. Cringing, torn between hating the sensation of intrusion…and the almost instinctual excitement that came from knowing that this was Shiro, Keith squirmed as he began to slowly finger in, sliding his finger in and out, getting him accustomed to the feeling of something penetrating him. Still, his patience wasn’t great. Before Keith had time to adjust, Shiro added another finger, swiping his tongue across his hole to add another lay of saliva. Another sting of pain, nothing too severe, even with two large, broad fingers inside him. 

“Shiro, please-“ Keith panted, his cock twitching eagerly when both those fingers began to move. 

Another finger, bringing the count to three. How little it actually hurt was more than a bit disturbing. It was like his ass was gleefully accepting Shiro’s fingers, clamping down, gobbling them up, pulling them in deeper. Deplorable pleasure was beginning to zip through his nerves. A different kind of heat swamped his body, warmer, softer, though with an edge that immediately got his attention. Panting heavily, his heart hammering away, Keith couldn’t repress a shudder when Shiro slipped his fingers out. The pleasure quickly faded, and Keith was left with the growing realization of what that absence meant. Scraping his blunt fingernails against the smooth surface of the floor, he gasped sharply when Shiro lowered his hips down, their thighs bumping together. 

“Keith.” Shiro breathed, his voice both beautiful and horrifying. “I want you. I love you.” 

A giant, gaping chasm opened up his chest. Pressing his hands over his burning face, Keith wanted to scream at Shiro until he went hoarse. Why?! Why now?! Why like this?! Why did it have to be like this?! This wasn’t fair! It was cruel! It was torture! Why? Sobbing, his body trembling, Keith didn’t even feel Shiro press the head of his cock to his sopping wet entrance. When Shiro thrust inside, slamming his hips forward, sheathing the entirety of his length inside of his ass in one graceful move, Keith came with a strangled, devastated scream. Cum splattered across the floor. Horrific pleasure, overwhelming, all-encompassing, enveloped his entire being, making every nerve in his body sing with deranged ecstasy. His hips buckled. His mind went completely blank. All that existed in those few seconds was Shiro’s warmth, his touch, his taste…him. 

In that moment, his being belonged entirely to Shiro, and coming down from that was more crushing then anything else that’d happened in the short time since he appeared in the cockpit. 

Panting heavily, his hands clamped down onto Keith’s hips, Shiro pounded until him, sending shockwaves of electric pleasure rolling through his body. There wasn’t an ounce of pain, or discomfort. Instead, his ass seemed to readily accept Shiro’s girth, spreading gleefully to make room for him and crying out in delight every time he pushed in. Within moments of his first orgasm, Keith came again. Not has hard as the first time, which turned out to make the experience even first as there was nothing to distract him away from the fact that he was cumming while being raped by the man he loved. Fighting hard to keep himself from unraveling, the agony of his predicament mixing with the insane pleasure of being fucked into a noxious mixture that sat like a stone in his stomach, Keith came again, and again, and again – all in rapid succession. His body, unused to this kind of stimulation, continuously reminded that this was Shiro. 

Regardless of the circumstances, his body knew who this was. He knew the scent, he knew the warmth, and everything, all aspects, every piece, was something he’d longed for. His body knew, and it reacted in such a way that added an extra dash of shame and dismay to the concoction of emotions brewing in his belly. 

A powerful hand slipped underneath his jaw, pulling his head back. His hips were dropped to the floor, the cold doing nothing at all to soothe his raging erection. Shiro’s other hand slammed down hard onto the space beside him. Still slamming into him, never slowing, Shiro leaned down as he pulled Keith’s head around, and smashed their lips together in a possessive, breath taking kiss. 

“I love you, baby.” Shiro whispered, and Keith could have bashed his head repeatedly against the floor until he couldn’t see anymore. “I love you so much.” 

“Stop-“ Keith gasped, exhausted, overwhelmed, just wanting all this to be over, wanting this agony to end. 

“I love-!” Before Shiro could finish that damned sentence, his large body suddenly tensed up. Shoving his hips forward, burying the entirety of his length inside of Keith’s ass once more, he came, sending a flood of warmth pouring into the twitching walls of his hole. To his horror, the instant he was exposed to that sensation, a flash of white hot pleasure raged through him, and he came once more. Only this time, it was a hard, aching orgasm that made his balls hurt. His cock violently twitch, releasing nothing, yet still creating a tremble of pleasure that felt like a mini earthquake. 

Shiro released his jaw, and Keith collapsed to the floor, breathing heavily. Sweat rolled into his eyes, making them sting. Exhaustion swamped him. His limbs felt weak and watery – if he tried to stand, he knew he’d fall over. Scarcely able to move, all he could manage was a weak shudder when Shiro slipped his, thankfully, steadily softening cock out of his ass. Sniffling quietly, too tired at that point to even cry, Keith tried to crawl away, wanting to make it to the cockpit door and…do something, he didn’t know but before he could get anyway, Shiro slipped his arms underneath him. Crying out in dismay, terrified that the whole thing was going to repeat itself, Keith tried to push away. Though, by that point, he didn’t even know why he bothered. Shiro’s strength was enormous, and he stood no chance against him. 

Gathering him up into his arms, Shiro cradled him close to his chest, his cheek smooshed between the prominent pecs, burying his nose into Keith’s hair. Sighing softly, curling around him, his legs and arms encasing him, Shiro whispered something that sounded vaguely like another ‘I love you’ but came out as warbled gibberish. The next moment, his body went slack, the pace of his breathing slowing down to an evenness that immediately made Keith wonder if he’d passed out. Craning his head back as best he could, Keith found himself looking up into what was definitely a sleeping face. At first, this was an immense relief, one he clung onto even as the reality of the situation slammed down onto his shoulders. 

He was too tired to cry, even though, at that moment, he really wanted to. Burying his face into Shiro’s face once more, he trembled, his fingers curling into the thin material of his shirt. What was he doing to do? What could he do? He…he knew Shiro. If he remembered this when he woke up…he was going to be devastated. Doing something like this to Keith…he was never going to forgive himself. Keith…he could forgive him, he could easily forgive him – whatever had caused this, it wasn’t Shiro’s fault. Something had affected him, something had drove him to this, and he hadn’t been in control of his actions. He could never blame him for something like that but Shiro…if he remembered this, he wasn’t going to take it well...especially if everything he had said, all those confessions of love were true...

He…he didn’t want to lose him but…how could they recover from something like this?


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> RESOLVING ISSUESSSSS  
> it's nearly one thirty in the morning. will i like where i went with this when I wake up? who knows  
> anyway  
> Check out more on my tumblr, [decadentbynature](http://decadentbynature.tumblr.com)  
> You can also follow me on twitter @ [naturallydeca](http://twitter.com/naturallydeca)

Allura explained to him that the infestation was a parasite, about the size of a human fingernail, that latched onto the base of the neck, where the spinal cord met the skull. From the short study that she and Pidge were able to do on a specimen (which they’d pulled from Lance) since the Castle of Lions had come back online (at that point, it had only been a couple hours, and the focus had been more on making sure that everything was in working order and making sure that all the parasites were eradicated), they thought it might disrupt the signals in the brain, causing the victim to behave unpredictably. 

After a moment of hesitation, Allura offered an unofficial hypothesis. Going off how Lance had been acting – attempting to fly the ship back to earth, even though there was no power, and completely ignoring anything Allura and Coran told him, while carrying on a one-sided conversation with Allura about everything he wanted to show her on earth – she thought that the parasite, somehow, completely shut down the rational parts of the brain, leading to the individual to act solely on emotion and instinct. Furthermore, she theorized that the parasite caused the individual, while in this state, to act out their deepest desires, which was why Lance had acted the way he had, without seeming to realize the implications of what he was doing. 

He wanted to go home. He wanted to be reunited with his family. He wanted to show Allura his home. That was a despair deeply ingrained into his very being – one that the parasite had caused him to act out while underneath its control. 

With a sigh, one hand pressed to her temple, she waved the other dismissively, and said that, of course, it was all assumption at this point, without seeming to notice the strained, conflicted expression on Keith’s face. She went over Shiro’s condition – vital signs were good, there didn’t seem to be any sort of permanent damage, he was running a fever but that was about it – before gently advising him to go get some sleep, her gaze briefly flickering up at his haggard, pale face. She didn’t say it but he knew she suspected something had happened. How could she not when he appeared in the med-bay, dragging Shiro as best he could, and refused to speak when asked what happened? Despite his best efforts to keep his expression neutral, there was no hiding the puffy, red eyes, the staggered gait and the sickly pallor of his skin. During their short discussion, Allura came close to broaching the subject, her concerned eyes settling on him, searching his expression, looking for anything she could use to gently prod him into speaking but ultimately, she remained quiet. 

There weren’t words in any language to explain how grateful he was for that small act of grace and kindness. The last thing he wanted was to talk about it. The others, with the exception of Hunk (who, thankfully, hadn’t been affected and was helping Coran check over everything at that moment), would have pushed but Allura obviously knew better…and consequently, there was no doubt in his mind that she understood what had occurred between him and Shiro, or at least, had a pretty good guess. 

After hanging close to Shiro’s pod for a few more moments, his exhausted gaze trained on his sleeping face, Keith finally relented. Before leaving, Allura had caught his gaze, giving him a look that was sympathetic but not pitying, one that clearly read as ‘I’m here, I’ll be right here if you need to talk. No pressure, no prying, no expectations’. Keith had nodded to show he understood, even though he already knew that this was something he’d talk to only one other person about, and that was only if he wanted to talk about it first. He went back to his room, where he took a two hour long shower – half spent standing up, hands braced on the wall, the hot water streaming down his back; the other carefully sat on the tiled floor, doing his best to keep as much weight as possible off his aching ass – before throwing on a pair of sweats and stumbling back into his room. 

Flopping face down onto his bed, distantly aware of the fact that it might be best to drink some water and eat something, as well as take some pain medicines to do something about the steady ache in the base of his spine but unable to dredge up the motivation to do so, Keith opted, rather, to just lay there for another hour, his face pressed against the pillow, each breath causing a bloom of heat against his face. Desire…the parasite had caused the victims to carry out their deepest desires. Just an assumption, a hypothesis but…the memory of Shiro’s flushed, heated face flashed across his closed eyes, making his heart lurch in both excitement and pain. What else could that have been but desire? Shiro’s dark eyes boring into him, eating him up, devouring him with an intensity that took his breath away. What else could that be but desire? 

Desire for him, desire to touch him, to kiss him, to…to be intimate with him. Could he take everything Shiro said while he was under the control of that parasite as how he truly felt? The automatic, almost instinctual answer was a resounding yes but he wasn’t ready to just accept that yet. For one, Allura could be wrong. The hypothesis she came up with did seem to fit Shiro and Lance’s behavior (possibly also Pidge’s, though Allura hadn’t been sure what exactly Pidge had done while under the effects). It would explain a lot but it wasn’t completely proven. It might’ve been something else. That was probably just him being overly cautious. He just couldn’t completely accept that was the case right yet, even though there was a massive part of him, nearly even part of his emotional monkey brain and a good chunk of his rational one as well, wanted too. 

The reason for his caution was not only because there was a small chance that might not be the chance but also because…if that was the case, what would happen if Shiro remembered what had happened? He had posed the question to Allura earlier. She hadn’t known what was going to happen once Shiro, Lance and Pidge woke up. They may remember, they may not. Only way they were going to find out is to ask when they did wake up. Not that Keith was actually going to ask. He had the mournful feeling that if Shiro did remember, that was something that he was going to be forced to confront. Shiro wasn’t going to shove it under the rug. He wouldn’t just pretend like it didn’t happen, which meant…when he woke up, if he remembered, that was a discussion that Keith really didn’t want to happen but knew would. 

Sighing heavily, his heart aching, his stomach rolling harshly, threatening to throw up whatever contents were still in there after he’d nearly puked the damned organ out a couple hours earlier, after he’d managed to wiggle his way out of Shiro’s hold, Keith brushed his wet hair back. He wanted to sleep, simply because he didn’t really want to be wake anymore but the more he tried to will sleep the come, the further it stepped back, solemnly shaking its head as though to say ‘we’re not getting any rest until this is dealt with’. It got to the point that Keith wanted to scream, to slam his fists against the walls until his knuckles bled, to tell the damned imaginary manifestation of a concept that he didn’t want to deal with it, he didn’t want to talk about it, he wanted it to go away, he wanted to fall into a comatose state that would last for a couple years. That really didn’t seem like a selfish thing to ask for, especially considering what he’d just gone through! 

He was nearing the end of his rope, which meant he was seriously considering heading back to the med-bay to see if Allura would be willing to tranquilize him when there was suddenly a loud, frantic pounding on his door, followed by a familiar voice calling desperate through from the other side. 

“Keith! Please, Keith, if you’re there, I-!” 

Shiro’s voice cut off, and Keith was falling out of his bed, scrambling towards the door in a panic before he even realized he was moving. Slamming his hand against the button, the door whooshed open to reveal an alarming pale, panting, sweaty Shiro. 

“Keith.” Shiro whispered, his voice pained, and to his alarm, tears welled up in his dark eyes, spilling down his cheeks. Sobbing quietly, he took a hesitant step forward, reaching out to him with one trembling hand. He didn’t even have to think about it. There was no fear, no alarm, no panic or rage. Who was standing in front of him was his Shiro, and there was no hesitation in reaching out to him. 

Throwing his arms around Shiro’s neck, he squeezed him tightly, one hand landing on the back of his head to softly stroke his hair as he broke down into agonized sobs. Shiro’s muscular arms snaked around him, clamping down in a vice grip that made his ribs groan. Stepping backwards, leading him further into the room, Keith somehow managed to get the door closed, allowing them the peace they needed to…do whatever it was they needed to do. It took a fair amount of careful maneuvering to get Shiro over to the bed but with some patience, he managed. Easing him down, never allowing too much space between them, Keith hesitated for a moment, bent over in an awkward position, Shiro’s head now tucked under his cheek, his hot breath slamming against his neck as he openly cried, then slowly, carefully lowered himself onto one of Shiro’s legs. 

“I’m sorry.” Shiro gasped, clinging desperately to him, “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I don’t…I don’t know-Keith, I’m sorry.”

“Sh, sh, sh.” Keith gently soothed him, tears prickling the corners of his eyes. This…Shiro crying…Shiro in so much pain…he hated it even more than what had happened in the cockpit. Swallowing down against the sob rising in his throat, he pressed his cheek to the top of Shiro’s head, and whispered, “It’s okay, everything-“

“It’s not okay!” Shiro exclaimed, his voice rough and cracking, “I-! I raped you! You told me no! You told me no repeatedly! You begged me to stop, and I didn’t! How…how can you-?!”

“Because that wasn’t you.” Keith replied firmly, pressing his burning cheek to the top of Shiro’s head, “That wasn’t you.”

“Keith, how can you say that?! I remember-!”

“You remember what the parasite made you do.” 

“Parasite? Keith, what-?” 

Sighing, Keith slid back just an inch, a little hindered by Shiro’s arms clamping down even more tightly, as though he was terrified to let him go. Looking down into Shiro’s pale, tear caked face, tiny cracks spreading throughout his heart at the agony, the grief clear in his dark eyes, he asked, “Did Allura not tell you?” 

“She tried to tell me something but I-…I needed to make sure you were okay.” 

“Shiro, a parasite infested the ship. It infected you, Pidge and Lance. When you…,” Keith hesitated, then sighed again, “What happened in the cockpit of the Red Lion, that was the parasite. Allura thinks that it shuts off the logical, rational part of your brain, and lets the emotional part run wild. When we were in the cockpit, you couldn’t stop yourself. Literally, in all meaning of the word. You couldn’t stop yourself because the parasite wouldn’t let you. It was…it was driving you to fulfill a repressed desire.”

Shiro’s eyes widened, a flush of color appearing in his sallow cheeks. Head bowing, tears clinging to his lashes, he audibly swallowed, a noticeable tremor settling into his muscular body. Not sure what else to say or what to do, hating every moment of it, wanting nothing more than to track down every last one of those parasites and grind them to dust underneath his heel, Keith jumped a little when Shiro abruptly leaned forward, pressing his forehead to Keith’s chest. Sucking in a shuddering breath, Shiro’s arms curled even more tightly around him. 

“I hurt you.” He whispered, his voice barely audible, “Regardless of why, I hurt you. I-“

The words came out before he could stop them, “Do you love me, Shiro?” 

Both of them tensed up. Now it was Keith’s turn to flush. Fuck, fuck, fuck, he hadn’t meant to ask that! That was a question saved for later, when they’d both calmed down! Asking it right now, it seemed so wrong and unfair. Shiro was in no state to be talking about that sort of thing. They needed to heal first, not jump directly into that. Immediately going in to retract his question, to do whatever he could to recover, Keith stopped dead when Shiro slowly lifted his head, settling a tearful but unwavering gaze on him. Mouth set into a thin line, though his bottom lip was trembling, Shiro whispered, “I do. I love you, Keith. I love you so much, and that’s why this hurts so fucking badly. I…you…you’re so fucking precious to me. I want to keep you safe, to cherish you! But I-“

His voice cracked. A fresh wave of tears streamed slid in thick lines down his face. Dropping his head once again, his broad shoulders hitching, Shiro whispered, “How can you sit here and comfort me, after what I did?” 

“Because I’m terrified of losing you.” Keith answered honestly, then after a moment’s pause, he quietly added, “Because I love you too.” 

The immense jolt that shook Shiro’s body, followed by his head wrenching back up nearly sent Keith toppling to the floor. Only reason he managed to stay perched on Shiro’s knee was the fact that those muscular arms were still keeping him firmly in place. Despite the agony of the situation, the shocked, gobsmacked expression on Shiro’s face was so open and honest that Keith couldn’t help but to crack the smallest smile. Slowly reaching up, he swiped his thumb across Shiro’s damp, clammy cheek, brushing away the stray tears. Even after what had happened…nothing had changed. Shiro was still Shiro, that much was painfully obvious. And him? He still loved him so much. 

There wasn’t much in this entire universe that could make him stop loving him. 

“I knew…” He said softly, “that you would never do something like that unless something else was behind it. I knew the very moment I looked into your eyes when you first appeared. This…” he paused, then slowly shook his head, “it’ll haunt me, just as it’ll haunt you but I can’t stand the thought of it taking you away from me.” 

“You still want me to be here…even after I hurt you like that?” Shiro asked softly, a conflict clearly brewing in his dark eyes. 

Keith stared down into his face for a moment then slowly, so very slowly, each movement projected to give Shiro time to move away, he leaned forward and pressed their lips together in a soft, chaste kiss. To his relief, Shiro didn’t jerk away. A hard breath of hot air brushed against his face as Shiro forcibly exhaled. Pushing back against him, deepening the kiss just a little, just enough to make it a little more firm, a little more substantial, Shiro reached up to brush his fingers gently through Keith’s hair. A pleasant, comforting warmth blossomed inside his chest, quickly spreading out through the rest of his body until he felt as though he might be glowing. In an instant, he’d made up his mind: this was his first kiss. Not the one forced on him in the cockpit – this one, the one that both he and Shiro were willingly partaking in, willingly started and willingly continued. 

Pulling back with a soft gasp, Keith pressed their foreheads together, “Don’t leave me. Please.” 

“I won’t.” Shiro whispered, “I won’t, b-“

The words seemed to catch on his tongue. Sucking in another deep breath, Shiro leaned back to scrub a hand over his face, and said, his voice muffled by his hand, “I can’t…I can’t use that name.” 

“No.” Keith slowly shook his head, not about to voice how the muscles in the small of his back had instantly tensed up at just that one syllable, “Not yet.”

Gently stroking the tips of his fingers through the short hair on the side of Shiro’s head, he said, “We’ll get there.” 

Shiro was silent for a moment then quietly asked, glancing up at him with a red, puffy, watery gaze, “You already forgave me long before I woke up, didn’t you?” 

“There was nothing to forgive.” Keith answered easily, “If that parasite hadn’t infected you, would you have ever done what you did?” 

“Never.” Shiro replied with a hint of vehemence, “The moment you said ‘no’, I would have backed off. I never-“

“And that’s why.” Keith whispered. Sighing, he relaxed into Shiro’s hold, relief slowly starting to take place of the nauseating anxiety plaguing him, “I was hurt, I was scared but…knowing that it wasn’t your conscious choice, that you didn’t decide that you were going to do something like that…I…I feel…”

As though someone had removed a ten ton tumor from his chest, as though he could breathe freely again after having his head held under water for hours, as though his world had been set completely eschew and only just now been righted. Wrapped up in Shiro’s embrace, encased by his warmth, knowing that he was here by choice, that he loved him…it didn’t completely erase what had happened, nothing was ever going to completely erase it but…he could breathe. He could fucking breathe, and every blissful breath that he pulled into his lungs was tinted with Shiro’s scent. With startlingly ease, almost as a well-earned blessing after enduring that horrific trial, they’d not only taken a step towards recovery but it was a step they were taking together.

“Say it again.” He murmured. 

“I love you.” Shiro said, sounding as exhausted as Keith felt. 

“Stay with me?” 

“Always.” 

There were going to be hiccups and tears; guilt and shame. At that moment, though, none of that really mattered. Shiro’s chest rose and fell with steadily evening breaths. Keith felt sleep creeping in, tugging gently on the edges of his mind, finally accepting him into that wonderful unknowing. This time, he resisted, just for a while longer. Gently untangling himself from Shiro’s hold, doing his best to ignore the near panicked look that fluttered across his face when he started moving away, Keith sent a quick message to Allura to let her know Shiro was with him (he got the feeling that she probably already knew but just in case) then gestured for Shiro to lay down. 

“Are you okay with this? I can sleep-“ Shiro started to say, only to fall silent with Keith shot him a look. 

“I’m going to have nightmares.” Keith said honestly, his chest tightening with Shiro flinched. Climbing up onto the bed, he took hold of one of his large hands, curling his fingers around it, “So, be there when I wake up.” 

Shiro’s eyes widened, tears once again welling up but he blinked them away quickly. Clearing his throat, he slipped down next to Keith, slowly, carefully gathering him close. There was a split moment when that ugly panic did rear its head, threatening to steal the breath he’d just gotten back. He stomped it down quickly by looking up into those dark, teary eyes. This was his Shiro, the one he’d always longed for, the one he always loved…the one he was going to take this tumultuous, winding road that went to who knows where with. 

Brushing the backs of his fingers along the curve of Keith’s cheek, Shiro whispered, “Can I kiss you?” 

Keith nodded. Cupping the back of his head, Shiro leaned down to press a quick, soft kiss to his lips, then settled in with a quiet sigh. Snuggling closer, loosely draping one arm around his waist, Keith let his eyes flutter closed, lulled by the familiar scent surrounding him, and finally allowed sleep to claim him, comforted by the knowledge that when he woke in the morning, he wouldn’t be alone.


End file.
